Evil Inheritance aka That Stupid Monkey
by Evanjaleene
Summary: Liz and Will are getting married, and Jack's invited! But he accidently brings a very uninvited guest--Barobossa's pet-minion, Jack-the-monkey. Jack-the-monkey is cursed again, and running around causing all sorts of trouble with those damned gold coins.
1. Default Chapter

PotCII: Evil Inheritance (aka, That Stupid Monkey)  
  
Will and Elizabeth are getting married, and Jack's invited to the wedding--but only if he'll go in disguise to the ceremony, as he is still a wanted man, after all. But he accidently brings a very unwanted guest--Barbossa's pet-minion, Jack-the-monkey.  
  
Jack-the-monkey is cursed again. He's been leading other pirates to their non-death for a while, in animalistic-glee (of course). That's not the problem.  
  
The problem is, he's now running around Port Royale planting gold coins on unsuspecting people. Coins that draw a new band of cursed men upon them.  
  
The problem is, people are beginning to notice that the "horrid creature" arrived at the same time as "Mr. John Smith," and Jack now must be wary of being hanged in *both* of his identities.  
  
The problem is, Norrington is taking advantage of the general chaos to make time with Elizabeth, much to Will's dismay.  
  
Stupid monkey.  
  
Jack must be rid of his evil inheritance from Barbossa, *not* be hanged in any of his identities, and calm Will's pre-wedding jitters.  
  
His life's gotten way too complicated as of late. Ever since he met Will, in fact. Next time, he'll just let the whelp drown, he swears...  
  
Well, what do you all think? I'll try to get the first chapter up soon, but I wanted to know if anyone would actually read this first. Please review and tell me if you want to see this or not! Otherwise I won't waste my time, I have school projects and other fics to work on. 


	2. Chapter One: Wedding Invitation

Chapter One: Wedding Invitation  
  
"Jack, if this is you being helpful, I want you to be useless!" Anna Maria yelled back at her captain, looked ahead, then ducked a cannon shot.   
  
"I'm being helpful," Jack protested. "Wait, are you callin' me useless now, or do you want me to be so you can call me that?" Anna Maria didn't answer--he fully intended to make her explain that later--but right now battle was more important that Anna Maria's cryptic remarks. He turned a cannon around and pointed at the enemy ship, his hand on the back of a young lad with scraggly brown hair. "That's where you want to shoot, Mr. Gorbitten, not at the floor of our own ship."  
  
"Aye, sir," the young man breathed, lighting a match.  
  
Anna Maria was directing others to aim in the right direction, not easy since the churning waters rocked them all across the deck. "Are ya blind, ya bloody idiots! Shoot that way, *that* way! Ah!" She fell over as a cannon broke through the rail and zoomed across the deck only a few feet from the floor, the force of the wind knocking her over. "Dammit!"  
  
Jack grinned. Curse all she wanted, he knew she loved it. She was a feisty one, she was.   
  
A pistol shot from the closing in ship's captain sent his hat flying backwards.  
  
"Me hat!" He ducked to the floor and grabbed it, slamming it back on his head and standing back up. "Tha's goin' too far, Brighton!"  
  
The other captain sneered, but then fell off his perch as one of his own crew skidded into him.   
  
"They always ge' wha' they deserve," Jack said piously.   
  
****************  
  
"Do you think Jack will get the letter in time?" Elizabeth asked. She gazed at the elegant writing, and a sudden worry occured to her--could Jack even read?  
  
Will gave it a thoughtfull frown. "I don't know. I hope so," he said with a small, wistful smile.  
  
Elizabeth leaned back against the sofa cushions, gazing at her fiance who was gazing at the invatation. She knew Will wouldn't admit it, but he missed the adventure Jack had brought with him. Missed the open seas. But loved Elizabeth, and so wouldn't say anything about it.  
  
That, more than anything, worried her. Would these litle secrets turn into little lies, and then bigger lies, and then into swirling clouds of confusion and chaos and regret that surrounded them and drove them apart? She hoped not.   
  
"We'd better mail it," she said, breaking into his revere.  
  
Will turned his eyes to her and smiled. "Yes."  
  
They'd send it to Jack's Tortuga address, which he'd given them in case Will "does something stupid again."  
  
Elizabeth smiled back and they rose together to leave.  
  
****************  
  
"Hit 'em again!" Jack yelled.  
  
His crew shot their cannons once more at the other ship, and a rush of flames and wind brightened the sky as a deafening boom sounded.  
  
The crew cheered, and laughed at the enemy crew as they sailed away in little boats, defeated.  
  
Jack smiled. No one pirate-ed in his territory, and tried to steal from *him.* After all, he was Captain Jack Sparrow.  
  
"Make for Tortuga, men, we deserve some celebrating."  
  
****************  
  
"Back again, Jack?" Divinity cooed. "Miss us on the open seas, did ya?"  
  
"Aye, I did." He swung her into his arms, but before he could kiss her, Leila grabbed his arm. "Woah there, Leila, there's enough of Captain Jack to go around."  
  
Leila rolled her eyes. "Don' speak ta me as if I was onna yer whores, Jack." Divinity sniffed, and Leila glared at her. "Ya got a letter."  
  
"Did I? Well, hold it fer me, I'll be busy fer a while." Divinity giggled.  
  
Leila pushed him back from the other woman. "It's from Will Turner, ya said to alert ya immediately if ya got mail from 'im."  
  
"Oh." Jack frowned, wondering if Will, or possibily Elizabeth--or them both, they were so wrapped up in each other after all--needed his help. "Well, le's have it then."  
  
Leila handed him to cream-white letter, and he shrugged off Divinity's hold."Jus' a moment, luv."  
  
Divinity let out a huff of breath. "When ya need me, I'll be in me room."  
  
Jack nodded absently, and ripped open the letter. Scanning it, his lips curved into a smile. Ah! This was *good* news! In elegant script, was an invitation.  
  
Jack Sparrow,  
  
You are cordially invited to the wedding of William Turner and Elizabeth Swann, held  
  
on June fourteenth, in the Swan Estate. Please respond immediately with news of when  
  
you will be arriving in Port Royale, so a room may be prepared for you. If you cannot  
  
make it to the wedding, please reply with this information.  
  
Sincerely,  
  
William Turner and Elizabeth Swann  
  
Beneath the gilt writing, was a note added in black pen.  
  
Jack,  
  
For God's sake, come in disguise to the ceremony. If Norrington sees you, no matter how much he grants you a grudging respect, he *will* arrest you. Yes, I know. You're *Captain Jack Sparrow.* Well, you'll be *Dead* Captain Jack Sparrow if you don't be careful.  
  
--Will  
  
Jack frowned a bit at that last bit, then shrugged, heading down the hall. "What the whelp wishes, I'll do, but only 'cause it's his wedding."  
  
He tapped the letter against his palm, then tossed it into a fireplace he passed. Wouldn't do to leave Will's name lying around connected to Jack's so that some fool could take it to--of all people--Commodore Norrington, who'd use Will to catch Jack if he had to.  
  
Jack smiled. Old Norrington was getting desperate now. Knew he couldn't catch the great Captain Jack--  
  
SMACK!  
  
The bedroom door flung open, and Divinity pocked her head around it. "Jack! Oh, I'm so sorry, love! I was jus' goin' ta see if ya were comin' or no'."  
  
"Ah...'s..okay, luv...jus'..." Jack waved his hand, and fell backwards.  
  
Divinity winced. "Poor love. Ya may be the great Captain Jack Sparrow, but even ya aren' immune to bein' hit in tha face with a door."  
  
~End Chap.~ 


	3. Note to Readers

Sorry!  
  
I've been going through a lot of personal sh*t, and it's taken up my time. I don't even have time for my homework--I've had to ask for extensions--much less any fics right now. I have updates to several of my fics but haven't been able to type them up.  
  
See, I've moved twice in three times in two weeks. Moved outta my parents' house because of, how should I put it, irreconcilable differences? Then into a friends', it didn't work out, and into another friends'. It's crazy right now. Please understand, I wanna write all my fics! Just need more time, to get settled.  
  
Thanks!  
  
~Evanjaleene 


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